So, you know what that means! Its that time of year again, time for candy, and costumes, and all the debauched revelry that All Hallows Eve brings us. Its the time when I go back and rewatch the same horror/slasher movies that I watch every Halloween. Out of all of these films though, one stands out as my absolute favorite, which shocks many people, as it is a film that has received a lot of negative criticism over the years, since its release in 1989.
That's right. I'm talking about the horror masterpiece that is Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.
The Friday the 13th series as a whole is amazing, but this one might be the pinnacle. The concept is quite different from the other movies, in a sense. I mean sure, it has your usual slutty teenagers getting slaughtered, but the off the wall setting is what makes it such a triumph. In this film, our beloved, hockey mask wearing killer Jason Voorhees plies his death dealing trade upon a cruise boat. Not a ship (I don't think that the SS Lazarus can be called a ship), a boat. This setting is quite terrifying, because there is no escape from the death and destruction. I mean, at least at Camp Crystal Lake, you might have a chance of escaping into the woods and losing Mr. Voorhees. When you're sailing down the Hudson river however, theres no where to go but the icy water.
Adding to this epic horror film, are my favorite parts, the death scenes. Starting out, Jason provides us with what might be my favorite death in the entire series. He wanders down into the hold of the ship, where he finds JJ playing her pink flying v guitar. Jason, apparently not a fan of hair metal, proceeds to grab the guitar and beat her to death with it. Can't say I blame him. Hair metal was on its way out by this time anyway, but, I digress...
Up next, we have a few mediocre death scenes, including Jason stabbing one girl with a shard of glass from a mirror, and him strangling Kelly Hu on the dance floor while stereotypical 80s new wave plays in the background. Both of these scenes are forgettable, aside from the wonderful lighting and the way the director uses the dance floor set to make it appear that Voorhees is everywhere in the room at once.
After that, we get to what many people see as the best kill in this film, and one of the funniest in the whole series. Julius, badass that he is, tries to challenge our undead supervillian to a boxing match. Really, Julius? Golden gloves or not, you don't have a chance. And we all know it. He lays into Jason with a flurry of punches, only to see that it hasn't fazed him. We then get the coup de grace, when hockey-mask decapitates our young fighter with a single punch, sending his head to the street below.
Fast foward into the sewers, Jason is pursuing the last two surviving teens. We know the end is nigh, and that these two will undoubtedly survive, through some miraculous manner. Well, we get our resolution when they douse Jason with toxic waste, which is conveniently available in your friendly NYC sewer. Jason is hit with the glowing green ooze, and for some strange reason, his body melts, and he reverts to his childhood form left lying in the sewer.
But is this the end for ol' hockey mask? Of course not! In just a few years, we get Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, where he is blown up in a government sting operation. Being Jason, however, this is not the final Friday. And to be honest, I don't think there will ever be a final Friday. Because we, as a culture, love Friday the 13th too much to let it go, and call it a day.
(As a side note, the girlfriend and I have determined that the ONLY plausible reason for the barrels of toxic waste being down there is to keep the thousands of alligators that were flushed down toilets at bay)
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