It's October!!!

So, you know what that means! Its that time of year again, time for candy, and costumes, and all the debauched revelry that All Hallows Eve brings us. Its the time when I go back and rewatch the same horror/slasher movies that I watch every Halloween. Out of all of these films though, one stands out as my absolute favorite, which shocks many people, as it is a film that has received a lot of negative criticism over the years, since its release in 1989.

That's right. I'm talking about the horror masterpiece that is Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.

The Friday the 13th series as a whole is amazing, but this one might be the pinnacle. The concept is quite different from the other movies, in a sense. I mean sure, it has your usual slutty teenagers getting slaughtered, but the off the wall setting is what makes it such a triumph. In this film, our beloved, hockey mask wearing killer Jason Voorhees plies his death dealing trade upon a cruise boat. Not a ship (I don't think that the SS Lazarus can be called a ship), a boat. This setting is quite terrifying, because there is no escape from the death and destruction. I mean, at least at Camp Crystal Lake, you might have a chance of escaping into the woods and losing Mr. Voorhees. When you're sailing down the Hudson river however, theres no where to go but the icy water.

Adding to this epic horror film, are my favorite parts, the death scenes. Starting out, Jason provides us with what might be my favorite death in the entire series. He wanders down into the hold of the ship, where he finds JJ playing her pink flying v guitar. Jason, apparently not a fan of hair metal, proceeds to grab the guitar and beat her to death with it. Can't say I blame him. Hair metal was on its way out by this time anyway, but, I digress...

Up next, we have a few mediocre death scenes, including Jason stabbing one girl with a shard of glass from a mirror, and him strangling Kelly Hu on the dance floor while stereotypical 80s new wave plays in the background. Both of these scenes are forgettable, aside from the wonderful lighting and the way the director uses the dance floor set to make it appear that Voorhees is everywhere in the room at once.

After that, we get to what many people see as the best kill in this film, and one of the funniest in the whole series. Julius, badass that he is, tries to challenge our undead supervillian to a boxing match. Really, Julius? Golden gloves or not, you don't have a chance. And we all know it. He lays into Jason with a flurry of punches, only to see that it hasn't fazed him. We then get the coup de grace, when hockey-mask decapitates our young fighter with a single punch, sending his head to the street below.

Fast foward into the sewers, Jason is pursuing the last two surviving teens. We know the end is nigh, and that these two will undoubtedly survive, through some miraculous manner. Well, we get our resolution when they douse Jason with toxic waste, which is conveniently available in your friendly NYC sewer. Jason is hit with the glowing green ooze, and for some strange reason, his body melts, and he reverts to his childhood form left lying in the sewer.

But is this the end for ol' hockey mask? Of course not! In just a few years, we get Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, where he is blown up in a government sting operation. Being Jason, however, this is not the final Friday. And to be honest, I don't think there will ever be a final Friday. Because we, as a culture, love Friday the 13th too much to let it go, and call it a day.


(As a side note, the girlfriend and I have determined that the ONLY plausible reason for the barrels of toxic waste being down there is to keep the thousands of alligators that were flushed down toilets at bay)

Expanding my musical horizons.

So, thanks to my wonderful girlfriend, I recently became the owner of a lovely Luna ukulele. After playing it for nearly a month, I have to ask myself,  why did it take me this long to get my hands on one of these? They're an amazing little instrument, and you can literally play any style of music on them. I just sat here and learned "One Big Holiday" by My Morning Jacket on it, and it sounds amazing. I really want to start writing songs on it, and maybe even recording a few. It's definitely replaced the guitar as my go-to instrument for songwriting, practice, and all-around jamming. If you're a guitarist, banjo player, or a player of any string instrument, check one of these out, you won't regret it.

Things Everyone Should Know About

I’m stealing this idea from

That Danny Totich over at http://www.goonsquads.blogspot.com
Check them out, they’re some really funny and entertaining guys.


I like to read. A lot. Being in college, I don’t have a lot of free time to read what I’d like. Most of my time is spent reading things about the Civil War, or 19th century America. Now don’t get me wrong, I love history, but I love reading things that I choose even more. Without further ado, I’m going to give you a list of my top ten books, and maybe you guys can get a little insight into my personality maybe even broaden your horizons a little.

10. Hunter S. Thompson - Screwjack (1991): This is a collection of short stories from the good Doctor. It starts out with Mescalito, which is an account of a speed and mescaline fueled night in a Los Angeles hotel room. Thompson gives us an in-depth description of his high and the fear associated with it as he rides it out until morning. We also get a glimpse of Dr. Gonzo, the late Oscar Zeta-Acosta, from his masterpiece Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, who arrives with beer and calms Thompson down. We then move into Death of a Poet, which is one of the more…bizarre, for lack of a better word, of HST’s stories. It starts with Thompson flying into Green Bay to visit a friend after a football game. He walks into the trailer to find a woman lying on the floor. He believes his friend to have murdered his wife, but later realizes that it’s a blow up doll, which his friend explains his bizarre use for, which isn’t the typical use. The story ends in a violent. shocking manner, which I’ll leave up to you to find out for yourself. Moving ever forward, we then get into Screwjack. This is quite possibly the most off the wall piece I’ve ever read by Thompson. It is written by his alter ego Raoul Duke, and is an account of an affair between Duke and a large tomcat called Mr. Screwjack. It is a good starting place for those interested in the Doctor’s work, as its a pretty quick read, and it also gives you a glimpse at his various writing styles.

9. Christopher Moore - Fool (2009): This was my introduction to the work of Christopher Moore, and I personally think it should be everyone else’s as well. The novel takes the story of Shakespeare’s King Lear, and gives it to us from the perspective of the court jester, known as Pocket. This novel is funny, subversive, and extremely well written all at the same time. It showed me that classic works can be re-imagined and not descend into absurdity like Pride & Prejudice & Zombies.

8. Hunter S. Thompson - Hell’s Angels (1966): This is HST’s second of four entries on my list. In this documentary style piece, the doctor spends a year in the midst of the notorious outlaw bikers, experiencing first hand the debauchery, violence, and danger that comes from living the life of a 1% biker.

7. Chuck Palahniuk - Fight Club (1996): This was my first introduction to Palahniuk’s work, and since then, I’ve become somewhat of an addict, making sure to read everything that he releases. I was brought to this book, like most people, by the film adaptation. I absolutely loved the film, but it was no comparison for the book. Reading the narrator’s thoughts, instead of merely having them shown to me on a screen was an entirely different experience, that made me appreciate both the book and the film even more.

6. Tucker Max - I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (2006): Regarded as an asshole by some, a God by others, and a highly functioning alcoholic by all, Max is either revered or despised, depending on who you talk to. He is, along with Harmon Leon, in my opinion, carrying on the torch of Gonzo journalism started by the late, great Hunter S. Thompson. His stream of consciousness style of writing is very entertaining, and makes his work easy to digest.

5. Cormac McCarthy - The Road (2006): There isn’t much I can say about this book, except that you should all read it at least once. I say this, because once is all you will be able to stand. This novel will leave you emotionally gutted. It takes the typical post-apocalyptic novel, turns it into a struggle between right and wrong, and tests the limits a father will go to in order to protect his son. Read it, and then be prepared to stay in bed for the next few days, because your soul will be crushed.

4. Hunter S. Thompson - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1971): This was my introduction of the work of HST, and at first read I was simply like “What the fuck is this? Is this real?” I went back and re-read it, and then re-read it again, and each time, I loved it more. This was the start of Gonzo journalism, and should be an essential read for everyone considering a career in journalism, or anyone interested in the stranger side of life.

3. Chris Offut - Kentucky Straight (1992): Being from eastern Kentucky, this collection of short stories resonates with me. In this collection, Offut shows us the dark underbelly of eastern Kentucky, and doesn’t try romanticizing the stereotype of the aloof, uneducated hillbilly. He instead gives us a much closer view of what many Kentuckians view as life as usual.

2. Hunter S. Thompson - The Rum Diary (1998): While this was HST’s first book that he attempted to write, it wasn’t published until 1998. When you read it, it makes you just want to say “fuck it,” roll the bones, and try your hand at life in a sleepy tropical city. Or anywhere else than where you are right now.

1. Stephen King -The Stand (1990): Originally published in 1978, I never read the original version, I’m only familiar with the complete and unabridged edition. This is an amazing piece of fiction, with its intersecting storylines, characters, and all of its various pop culture references, even. This is the ultimate post-apocalyptic novel, nothing will ever displace it, in my opinion. I highly recommend that everyone power through those 1152 pages of excellence. You’ll be glad that you did.
Well, there you have it. My top 10 list of books. I hope I’ve given you guys a little insight into my mind, and maybe, just maybe, I’ve inspired a few of you to pick up a book that you might not have considered reading before

Pending adulthood...

I was sitting in class today, trying (unsucessfully) to listen to Dr. Kim explain about how an area's proximity to a body of water affects it's average temperature, while browsing Facebook and Wikipedia, and I started to think "Wow. In a little more than 7 months, I'm going to graduate from this place, and have to go out into the real world." Thats a scary fucking prospect. I realize now that I've wasted 4, almost 5 years, getting a degree that is essentially useless. I will have a BA in History, which pretty much means that I can read and write a research paper. There's literally nothing I can do with this, aside from going to law school, which isn't really for me, or going to grad school and teaching after that. I can't help but feel like I've thrown the last half decade of my life away.

Anyway, I'm not going let it get me down. I set a goal when this journey started, and now the end is finally in sight. Only one more semester, and this long, sometimes annoying, but sometimes fun experience called college will finally be over. Even though the prospect of the unknown can be unsettling at times, I welcome it with open arms. I can't wait to start the next step in life, and see where it takes me.